


Steve andThor's Wacky Adventures

by Marie_Nomad



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Drunkenness, Gen, Hangover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-11 11:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Nomad/pseuds/Marie_Nomad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Thor gets into wacky drunken adventures and at the same time seem to help people out at least tried to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [It Seems Like a Good Idea At The Time](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/21339) by Livin4Jesus. 



This is inspired by "It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time" by Livin4Jesus. Feel free to read that fic. Remember, drinking and having super powers is dangerous. All characters belong to Marvel.

Finished

By Marie Nomad

His head pounded as Steve slowly sat up. His brain was throbbing and He struggled to stand up and saw that he was leaning on a tree, he was in a forest. He tried to examine his surrounds and saw for some reason, there were several worn down hammer and chisel sets on the ground.

"What year is this?" He muttered as Steve fumbled around for his starkphone and to his relief, it showed that he was knocked out for only a day.

"Steven?" Thor spoke up and Steve saw that the god was there looking disheveled. "The party we attended was quite impressive."

"Party?" Steve stumbled toward the Thor that he was sure was real. "So, this is what a hangover feels like?" He never had a hangover before. His stomach was twisting and turning and he wanted to throw up. The birds were shrieking, the ground smelled too strong, and he was sure the sunlight turned up high. If this is what a hangover felt like, he didn't want one again. How could Tony and Clint handle hangovers on a daily basis?

"Ah, it can be a problem. Here, drink some water." Thor offered Steve his canteen. Steve poured the water down his throat and his head became clearer. It gradually came back to him. They had met the real Hercules who was another alien which the Ancient Greeks called a god. He was like Tony Stark only with super strength. Hercules offered him and Thor some of his finest and strongest wines. Steve pointed out that he couldn't get drunk but the Greek God told him that it was the most potent wine known in the Universe created. The first drink, he felt pretty happy. No wonder the prohibition had failed. The second drink made him say things that he normally wouldn't say, especially in front of women. He couldn't remember what happened after the third drink.

"Oh, Hercules."

"Yes, his wine is very potent."

"At least we didn't do anything stupid like Clint and Tony do all the time."

"Their antics make for interesting stories to tell my friends in Asgard."

"I still don't know how he keeps on getting his cars in that tower." Steve looked around to find out where he was. The air was cold and he was surrounded by very tall pine trees.

"There is a massive statue with four of your rulers on it. The Mountain of Rushmore?"

"Oh yeah." Steve smiled as he remembered reading the newspapers on it. It was an ambitious project in his time and it was stopped because of funding. He blinked as he stared at the mountain. It looked more detailed than he remembered. Roosevelt, Lincoln, and Jefferson had finished torsos when before it was just a bunch of heads. "I thought that they never finished it."

"They didn't." Thor paused when he glanced on his belt to see that he had a set of chisels. "You do not think that we..."

"There you are!" Rescue screamed as she landed in front of the two. Steve and Thor stepped back. Before, Pepper Potts was fierce and a force to be reckoned with. Now that she has her own set of armor, she could be downright scary. "What the hell were you thinking?! You defaced a national monument! The Lakota Tribe is pissed at this! I'm getting calls from all over the place because they thought that Tony's involved in this somehow and for once he's not! And now, the Federal Government wants your heads for this! We just finished repairing the damage Tony and Clint did with the other monuments! Why did you do this?!"

Steve smiled helplessly and he could only think of one explanation. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

The End


	2. Elderly Harem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up and found himself in the aftermath of a party and meets another man who was also named 'Hawkeye'.

Steve and Thor's Wacky Adventures  
Chapter: Elderly Harem  
By Marie Nomad

"No." Steve said for what felt like the hundredth time. 

"Why not? You need to relax." Tony said as he waved the bottle full of his version of Hercules' special wine. "If I remember correctly, you had fun."

"My head was pounding and I nearly threw up." 

"And all it took was a glass of water and you were back to normal. I wish Clint and I could recover from hangovers as fast as you."

Steve sighed. Ever since the Mt. Rushmore Incident, Tony have been pestering him to get drunk again. He didn't like the idea of losing control of his actions. "I'm not like you. Somebody could go hurt."

"Hey, I piloted a suit loaded with enough power to level a city while drunk and everything turned out okay." Steve stared at him. "I didn't break anything that wasn't mine. Besides, you are more of a benevolent drunk. You like to do stuff to help others."

"I defaced a national monument!"

"I wouldn't say defaced it. More like finish it. You just need to relax. Let your hair down. Just a tip, take Thor with you. Being drunk with friends just adds on to the fun." Tony handed Steve the bottle and walked away.

Steve sighed as he glanced at the bottle. Maybe if he was careful, he wouldn't destroy anything. "Thor! Let's take another stab at the wine!"

Several drinks later...

Steve opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was that he was wearing only underwear. The second thing he noticed was the floor was littered with half naked old people. He stumbled to the nearest sink and drank some water. "Thor?"

"Here!" Thor held up his hand. He was shirtless. "We have an elderly harem." Thor said with a strange sense of pride.

"Tony is going to kill me." Steve muttered as he studied the damage. There were empty bottles of booze everywhere. "JARVIS? Are our guests okay and who are they?"

"They are all currently sleeping and in better condition than when they arrived. The BSA would be proud. They are guests from the Golden Years Retirement Home in New York City; veterans and spouses of veterans."

"Oh... that was fun." An elderly man reached up and wrapped his arm around Steve's broad shoulders. He laughed. "I haven't been to a party like this since that party after Bin Ladin died." He grabbed his cane and patted Steve's arm. "You threw a hell of a party, Son."

"Thanks. This is going to sound stupid but who are you?"

"It's okay, I've get that question all the time. Captain Hawkeye Pierce," his salute is somehow lazy, mocking, and somehow respectful all at once. Steve wouldn't believe it possible if he hadn't seen the same salute from Tony countless times, "Retired. Or at least I was 'Hawkeye' before your teammate stole my name. These days I mostly go by Ben; or Dr. Pierce if I'm trying to impress the ladies," he smiled and once again Steve was struck by the resemblance to his teammate. "I had no idea that you were such a party animal. I always thought that you were a bit up tight. I was wrong." 

"Thanks, I think," Steve watched as the elderly doctor helped the other senior citizens to their feet and they started to sort their discarded clothing. "So, what war did you serve in?"

"Korea. Courtesy of Uncle Sam's draft. I was there for three years, but God knows it felt like eleven. What a lousy, senseless, war. I was a surgeon- 4077th," he swallowed, a haunted look shadowing his eyes, "I saw kids mutilated. Soldiers shellshocked. I had to fight not only death on daily basis but the whole damned system. It was Hell." 

"I'm sorry."

Thor bowed his head toward the old man. "I know naught of this Korea War that you speak of but any healer willing to brave the ravages of war to aid others is a truly honorable man. I thank you for your brave service."

"I'm just a doctor, but thanks. But what I did was nothing compared to you two; you saved the world."

"What the hell is going on?!" Tony shouted as he entered the room. as he entered the room," There're naked old... old people everywhere! I need brain bleach!" He howled, covering his eyes.

"What? Like this is the first time you've seen an orgy." Stark's expression was priceless, "I've seen your tapes, Mr. Stark."

"That's different! Those are hot young models! These people are old enough to be my parents. I feel nauseous. You clean up around here. It's your party." Tony pointed at Steve and stumbled away. "Booze... I need booze..."

Steve and Dr. Peirce sighed. "Young people." The doctor muttered.

"Tell me about it." Steve nodded, "Was there an orgy?"

"No, but it's not every day I get to pull Tony Stark's leg."

Later as Dr. Pierce helped his friend, Margaret, with her shoes Steve confessed, "I think that every time I get drunk, I do something crazy for the greater good."

"Sounds like a pattern. I suggest you keep on doing it. See what happens. Maybe you and Thor will finish more of the government's unfinished projects or throw some more parties."

"Old people teeth are in my couch!!! I touched old people teeth!" Tony yelled.

"Well," Steve shrugged, "maybe."

The end


End file.
